Image source: MovieBoozer
We’ve all had awkward dates and sketchy first encounters, especially with people we met from online, but there’s always that one first date with that one creep, who makes you never want to dip into the dating pool again.
My bad dating experience, which isn’t as bad as some of the ones you’re about to read from my friends, happened a few years back. I’m going to call him Henry. Henry and I originally met at a party, which now that I think about it, isn’t the best place to find your future somebody. After we talked, we agreed that we should meet up sometime. I was thrilled when he actually asked me on a date. After we went out to eat, he invited me back to his place to relax. Although I had fun on the date, I thought we would be better off as friends, and I assumed the feeling was neutral because of how the date went, but when we got back to his place, I remember seeing A LOT Lady Gaga posters in his room. I mean, do you need a Gaga poster on every wall (and multiple ones at that)? The Lady Gaga obsession wasn’t what really freaked me out though, but when I sat down on his bed, he immediately jumped on me and made this super drunk expression (he wasn’t even drunk–we had nothing to drink), as he was groping me and trying to make out. I immediately jumped up, told him I forgot to meet a friend at the library for a project, and jolted out as fast as I could. I just wasn’t feeling it. I’m not a huge fan of drunk-acting kissers, okay? And he just came on way too strong way too fast. Yeah, this may not be my weirdest sexual encounter by any means, but it’s along the lines of a weird first date.
Don’t worry, there are more totally awkward stories to come! I asked some of my friends about their first dates, and here’s what I got. I also asked Chanel, but she’s surprisingly never been on a bad first date. Some people have ALL the luck.
I met this guy on tinder, and he said he worked in finance, so we met at this restaurant called The Smith in midtown. It was super nice. I see him and immediately think, “I’m not attracted to him; he does not look like his pic” hahaha. Then, we sit down to order, and I’m like so what are you drinking? And he goes, “Oh I don’t drink…” (Now I know this will absolutely not work). I ask why, and he says, “Oh, I’m actually Mormon,” and then, I ask him how long he’s living here for, and he’s like, “Just for the summer. I’m still in college.” I’m like, fucking shoot me. And then, after a long awk meal, he says let’s walk back to the subway by central park, and he proceeds to kiss me, and it was narsty. In the end, I couldn’t, but he was actually a nice kid. We just have different lifestyles.
It was the fourth of July, so we went to a baseball game. Little did I know my mom was also at the game and saw us. Then, I had to introduce him to all of my mom’s friends and deal with all of her questions (she didn’t know i was going on the date). I didn’t even like him, so I didn’t want to introduce him, and he was super eager and said we were dating. Then, he asked to come in when he dropped me off, and I wouldn’t let him, so we said goodnight. He went on to tell my friend’s sister that we had hooked up and were dating, so I had to block him from all media.
So this guy asked me out, and I said okay. I told him I’d meet him at his house so that after dinner I could leave if I wanted to. I was super nervous and got to his place like exactly on time, so I felt stupid. I went and knocked on his door, and no one was answering, and I could hear really loud music, so I figured he couldn’t hear me knock, so I went in. He was like finishing getting ready but acting super weird and jittery, and I thought he was just nervous. He said he had a sushi place to go to, but when we got there, there was a really long wait, so he was like “No no no let’s go somewhere else..” He had obviously made no reservation or anything, so we went to another sushi place, and it was kind of a hole in the wall..nothing special at all. After we ordered, he hardly ate and was super intense and jittery. After we ate, he invited me to go out for drinks with his friends because it was one of their birthdays. I ended up drinking too much and fell asleep in the back of his car. I later realized he was a cokehead, and that’s why he was acting the way he was, like he went to the bar and drank while I was passed out in his car. Yeah…
After hearing all of my friends’ stories, I just have to hear all of yours! Feel free to be semi-vague or use fake names because all of my friends did! Some of us, not Chanel and I, don’t want all of our dirty laundry hanging outside for everyone to sniff (this is a horrible metaphor). Feel free to hit me up on Twitter and follow my date-related musings.