When Did Sex Become “COOL”?

New Girl

Image Source: changinginthecity.wordpress.com

Today’s topic: SEX and sexual desire. That’s right, kids; this post is going to be raunchy (not really), but it’ll be awkward and undoubtedly honest, but not in a snarky way because I have no idea what I’m saying when I talk about sex. It’s like I’m a vegetarian in a meat market but way worse. Also, all of my GIFs will be New Girl GIFs because New Girl is the best show ever. 

If you really think about it, what else has changed this past decade besides the fact that youngins have having sex at alarming rates? I believe that the younger generation’s change in sexual behavior relates to the pervasive nature of social media. In Paul Sheehan’s “R u ready for the latest change to sexual behaviour?,” he does a great job at pinpointing exactly how sexual roles have changed in the wake of social media and other forms of digital media. In today’s world, sexting has become unstinting, and modern technology has revealed how contagious sexual desire can be, and it’s making it more acceptable to share your sexual thoughts and inhibitions in an almost indirect way. Many of my friends talk about sexting, and it just seems like, EVERYONE DOES IT or at least thinks about doing it.

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SERIOUSLY THOUGH. Image Source: Photobucket

What’s evermore compelling is that according to Sheehan, “men are [typically] the drivers of sexual desire,” but digital media is showing us that this sexual desire is reciprocal. Women want it too, and this becomes exceedingly more apparent when we look at the younger generation. It’s definitely accurate to state that “women in their 30s are becoming sexual fogeys compared with the next wave of young women.” Social media is ultimately loosening the social constraints on female sexuality so that women have a safe space (i.e. their smart phones) to share their once repressed thoughts. Sex might not actually be “cool,” but it’s much more prevalent than it was a decade ago, and the immense popularity of sexting and sharing one’s sexual desires makes sex seem cool. Even my cousin, who’s younger than me, lost her virginity much earlier than when I did. It’s just much more socially acceptable (or at least more so now) to be sexually active or to freely express one’s sexual desires at a younger age.

In the end, my inability to be cool at sex or talk about sex in a cool way or get on this “Sex is COOL” bandwagon will result in this:

New Girl

Image Source: GURL.com

Now, let’s talk about this. Do you think sex is cool? Do you agree with Sheehan’s findings? Will you closely monitor your kids’ texting habits, so they don’t SEXT?

5 thoughts on “When Did Sex Become “COOL”?

  1. I think there’s a line that you shouldn’t cross…like I’ll gossip with close friends about funny stories and stuff but I try to keep it classy with guys that I don’t know yet. They need to respect you. If you’re easily reciprocating with sexts they’re going to think you’re easy and that’s not the image I would want to portray to someone I’m actually interested in.

  2. I think that currently we still expect women to be more close-mouthed about their sexual experiences and desires. This idea that women who openly talk about sex and have a lot of it are easy and not worthy of respect is still quite prevalent. Even if you are a girl who is comfortable talking about it, you are forced not to in order to keep from being negatively judged by both females and males.

    In contrast, men freely talk about sex and gain respect from their sexual exploits. This double standard is simply a way to repress women’s sexual behaviors. I can understand wanting to do such a thing in a time when there was no contraception and sex could result in unwanted children. However that is not the world we currently live in, and the reasons behind deterring women from sexual behavior are outdated. If we are moving towards a world where women talking about sex is less taboo, then I believe we are making positive progress.

    In terms of sex being cool, as long as you are knowledgeable and safe about it, why shouldn’t sex be a good thing? Or at the very least, a personal lifestyle choice and not a reason to be judged negatively. I’m not a parent and can’t really chime in on how I would feel about my young children and sex, but once a person is of age, I see no logical reason to attempt to repress their sexual lifestyle.

    • I definitely agree, Ada. Like you said, this is where the double standard between men and women comes into play. Men are always praised for scoring, but when women get men, they’re immediately seen as being transgressive and intimidating. Although I said it’s more accepting now to express one’s self, women still face many hurdles and an increasing amount of social pressure and judgement when they do express themselves sexually. Society is still very close-minded, but it’s still more open than it was 20 or 30 years ago. Women have gone a long way, but there’s still many obstacles to cross. But still, this makes absolutely no sense, and all the conditions that women were judged on are very outdated nowadays. I’m just waiting for the day when men can be sluts, and women are applauded for pursuing multiple men or for freely and openly talking about their own sexual prowess.

      But in terms of having kids and letting them be free with their sexual identity, I think there’s a healthy way to express one’s self, and of course, there’s a dangerous way of doing it. As long as my kids are being rational, and their expression has a legitimate purpose, then why not?

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