4 Things to Remember When Going on a First Date

Grease

If only every date could be this perfect… Image Source: Redbook

First dates can be intimidating, especially when you can’t even remember the last time you put yourself out there. In celebration of the date I went on last week, which may have been the first semi-real date I’ve been on in a while, I’m offering up some advice, based on that experience and a few others. I’m also still talking to the guy, so that means it wasn’t a complete fail.

I recently saw a post on HowAboutWe’s The Date Report featuring this video that portrays the evolution of an entire romantic relationship, and while I was laughing, I realized that there are a few reasons why the relationship didn’t succeed, which may have to do with the very beginning of the relationship. Although many people don’t care about first dates, they’re fairly important, and in today’s world, first impressions certainly matter, although there is no such thing as a first, first impression, since people usually stalk each other via Facebook and other social media sites before actually meeting.

New Girl

Image Source: imgur

Here a few things to keep in mind, so you don’t completely freak out before and during your date:

  1. Don’t over think it. This applies to the actual date and the time spent getting ready for the date. Some of us, myself included, freak out before we even go on dates, and I’ll most likely think very pessimistic and morbid thoughts and expect the worst, and even though this can be beneficial, it’s best to not even think about the date until it happens. Who knows, this could either lead to something longterm and fulfilling, or it could be a sham. But either way, you’re still getting out there, and that’s always a good thing.
  2. Don’t share too much about yourself just yet. Try to maintain some sense of mystery, so then your date stays interested. Yes, this is a bit dishonest, but it’s smart, and it works. No one wants to hear your entire life’s story in one night anyways.
  3. Don’t seem too eager. As elementary as this sounds, play hard to get on a certain level. Don’t ignore your date, but you also don’t want to drool or seem super into him or her when you’re only on your first date!
  4. This may be the most important one, but be yourself.  Although you shouldn’t divulge everything about yourself on date #1, you also shouldn’t hide your personality. Enchant your date with your knowledge of Medieval history, and if you know a lot about cheese, then order some, and tell your date how your grandmother used to feed you cheese when you were little and that eating cheese reminds you of her (this may be my own personal tidbit). Or if you go to a club, get your freak out. Let your weird out (maybe not all of it just yet), but show your date that you’re comfortable in your own skin. Nothing’s sexier than self-confidence.

    Tina Fey

    Image Source: nbcsnl.tumblr.com

Even if the date goes south, at least you got some food or some dancing out of it. And if you two get along, but there’s no romantic connection, being friends wouldn’t hurt, although I know some friends who are against being friends with people that they went on dates with, but who cares? I still talk to people I’ve been on dates with.

As for the date, It could of been way, way worse. Always tell yourself that if your date ended up leaving a sour taste in your mouth (not literally, guys). As you read in my earlier post, your date could’ve been a drug addict, a sociopath, or way worse.

Tina Fey

Image Source: GURL.com

If you’re really in a bind during your date, channel Liz Lemon, and make the best out of a bad situation. Pretend he or she is a sandwich, order a sandwich, and get your grub on. After your date is over, you’ll be so full and satisfied, that you’ll forget about Tony or Doug or whoever that lame-o was!

Let me know in the comments what your tricks are for keeping your cool when you go on first dates!

5 Perks of Singlehood

Keep Calm and Stay Single

Image Source: The Keep Calm-o-matic

In today’s world of teen pregnancy, couples are seriously everywhere. I don’t think I noticed in college how populous couples were, but in New York, it’s really hard to look away when couples are French kissing on the subway or when couples are groping each other on club dance floors. Just yesterday, I gawked at this interracial gay couple for ten minutes as I walked up 5th Avenue. They were holding hands, pecking each other on the face, and doing other cutesy couple things that make you want to say “Awwww!”

In all honesty, I’ve never really been in a real relationship. I can’t ever remember changing my Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship,” but my friends and I did often joke around and listed each other as fake spouses. (Yeah, we were those kids)

Liz Lemon

This is definitely me every night. Image Source: http://gifsfln.tumblr.com/

But instead of drowning myself in fudge ice cream and cheesing out, I try to not be entirely self-loathing. I mean, there definitely are perks associated with being single. Yeah, it’s taking me a little while to think of some, but they exist!

Here are my own five reasons for why being single is oh so cool:

  1. You don’t have to please anyone. You can nerd out and be that little weird fat kid you’ve always wanted to be. Diets? No way. Well, diet and exercise if YOU want to do so for YOURSELF only. If I was dating someone, I might be a little weary to tell them how much I love cheese and Miley Cyrus, but I don’t, so I get to soak in my own weirdness 24/7.
  2. You can people watch and have 10 second crushes ALL THE TIME without feeling guilty. Some of my friends, who are in committed relationships, feel guilty for looking at people or for having sexually perverse thoughts, but this fear and sense of guilt doesn’t exist in the world of singledom (I’m seriously making these words up, I know)!
  3. Your schedule is pretty much OPEN all the time, unless you’re a workaholic like myself. Dinner plans on Thursday? No, those don’t exist. You can hangout WHENEVER and with WHOEVER you want. This freedom is only granted to single bodies y’all.
  4. ME TIME does indeed exist. Sometimes, it’s nice to just relax and not be with someone (even friends) all the time. This little bit of personal quality time definitely helps me regain my day’s worth of lost sanity.
  5. This goes off of #4, but you have ample time to work on yourself and to pursue your own personal interests, including but not limited to your career and/or hobbies. When you’re with someone, you often find yourself sacrificing your own wants and needs for the betterment of your relationship, and this just sucks. You need to work on you before you can work on anything else, especially a relationship.
Adventure Time

Don’t let this be you! Image Source: Rebloggy

Just remember: Don’t let the pressure to be in relationship affect you. Who cares if you’re single? Enjoy the time you have to yourself and let it be a means to work on yourself and to achieve some of your own goals. It’s important to have a sense of independence and self-worth before ever committing in a longterm relationship. This is my opinion, so feel free to revolt (in the comments below)!

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter for more weird tidbits and and unheard of love advice. Another interesting read is Thought Catalog’s “Ten Reasons Why Being In A Relationship Sucks,” which also reiterates some of my points but in a different context.