Why I’m Glad Halloween Isn’t a Couple’s Holiday

Kim Kardashian

Image Source: W Magazine

Finally, there’s a holiday when it’s okay to be single! Yes, couples still go out and wear matching Halloween costumes with their significant others, but it’s also a liberating holiday for singles in my opinion. When you’re a kid, the important thing is to have fun and score tons of candy. When you’re an adult, it’s just another way to let loose and have fun. Because people usually get so busted, no one cares if you’re with someone. You could be that creeper who hits on everyone, but no one would care! I honestly love Halloween, especially because it’s perfectly fine to be single today.

Here’s three specific reasons why I can’t get enough of this holiday:

  1. It gives you an excuse to be whoever or whatever YOU want to be, and you don’t have to worry about matching your costume with your loved one. It’s a super fun way to dress up as an alter-ego, and the best part is that no one judges you. But still remember to be yourself. You should only dress as something you actually want to be. It’s not like you have a boyfriend or girlfriend to impress.
  2. People don’t judge you for going out as a single body. People could care less, and most of the people going out only want to get laid, so there’s no doubt that you’ll meet lots of singles tonight at Halloween parties and at bars.
  3. You can eat and drink as much as you want without the fear of social persecution. Everyone’s eating, and everyone’s drinking! It’s quite an unhealthy holiday, but who cares? It’s fun, and it’s perfectly fine to have fun every now and then. Get loose, and enjoy yourself. And if you meet someone on this eventful night, then more power to you because they’ll already know what you’re like at one of your lowest points!
Kristen Wiig

Image Source: Dearest Lou

And if you don’t have any friends, don’t fret because Halloween is the perfect time to meet some new weird friends. Get yourself out there, and be glad that you don’t have someone weighing you down just yet!


Birthday Proposals? Nope.

Source: atlantablackstar.com

Image Source: atlantablackstar.com

Let’s give Kim and Kanye a belated congrats, shall we? Because their love is soooo romantic (well, not really) and come on, North West? Too cute.

Anyway, while I guess I could be fake-happy about the newly engaged couple—I just have to get something off of my chest. Fuck birthday proposals. Let me repeat, Fuck. Birthday. Proposals. While the gesture seems like the perfect opportunity to get your potential partner to say yes, it is also the worst time ever.

I swear, if someone proposes to me on my birthday, I’m going to lose it, and here’s why:

1.  IT’S MY BIRTHDAY. I might be bitter about the fact that I’ve had a couple crappy celebrations in the past. But, that day is the only time that I can shine and not feel too weird about it. For the rest of my life I would have to remember that my SO proposed on February 3rd and my livelihood would become irrelevant—and don’t even get me started on the PTSD I would have if there was a divorce.

2. It’s not creative. Like Kanye West said:

If I wanted it to be romantic, I would have gone to a small restaurant or something.

LOL. But the man has a point, because baseball stadiums don’t necessarily exude romance . On top of that, the whole “I had a viral wedding proposal” thing is getting old (it’s sooo 2013) and the publicity that surrounds events, because yes it is an event, allows people (like me) to pick every single aspect apart. So instead of being “romantic,” Mr. Kardashian West made it the most talked about thing of last week, thus fulfilling his goal of being one-half of the “best celeb couple ever.” At least that’s what he wants, right?

3. It feeds ego. Instead of the proposal being about the two lovebirds, it becomes about the “OMG THAT’S THE ULTIMATE PRESENT, OMG HOW DID HE PULL THAT OFF WITHOUT HER KNOWING, OMG BEST BDAY SURPRISE EVAAAHHHH,” which makes the proposer feel all high and mighty for, arguably, the wrong reasons.

4. Finally, what if he/she says no? While the proposée could feel obligated to say yes outside of the love realm, they might not feel ready or may not even like you like you, but just like you (Hey Arnold, whattup).

Now, by all means, do whatever you want. I’m not here to tell you what you can and cannot do (because it’s your life, your choices, blah blah). BUT don’t say I never warned you.

Open Discussion: What Weird Quirks Do You Find Attractive?

Dita Von Teese and Marilyn Manson

Image Source: VH1

After reading a post on Thought Catalog, I realized that although it’s hard to admit sometimes, everyone has a type or specific qualities that he or she looks for in a lifelong or sexual partner. Maybe you love gothic types or have the hots for artsy bros, who wear baggy sweatshirts. Sometimes, people find the weirdest things endearing and totally irresistible, or some people simply appreciate a good sense of humor, but regardless of who you are, you can’t deny the fact that you find certain physical or personality traits more attractive than others.

Here are the top three things that get me going:

  1. Beards – I don’t know what it is, but guys with facial hair just look way more attractive than hairless guys. This might be a result of me coping with my own lack of a beard. Maybe I’m jealous that I can’t grow a beard, so I try to find a guy with one. Of course, I will still pursue individuals without facial hair. This is simple one trait that gets me all stupid and giddy.
  2. Glasses or a nerdy vibe – This nerd infatuation has been more apparent to me as of late, but I gotta say, I totally dig nerds. I love guys with huge glasses that overpower the rest of their face. Plus, nerds are always super interested in and passionate about certain things, which means that being with that person will always be an intensely intellectual experience where they can always teach you or introduce you to new things. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who can demonstrate their passion for a particular topic or field. For me, it’s film, and I can go on for hours about film theory and the French New Wave.
  3. Idiosyncrasies or odd deficiencies – This may sound completely baffling, but I love it when guys are color blind, have weird allergies, or once, I was with someone, who had sickle cell anemia, and I thought it was the cutest thing. Certain parts of his body were more sensitive than others, so you know where I’m going with that (joking, of course).
New Girl

Image Source: fanlingo.tumblr.com

In the end, it’s important to be yourself and to do you, and who knows, someone out there will find you insanely attractive and appreciate all of your quirks. Remember to follow me on Twitter to discover some of my own quirks.

4 Things to Remember When Going on a First Date


If only every date could be this perfect… Image Source: Redbook

First dates can be intimidating, especially when you can’t even remember the last time you put yourself out there. In celebration of the date I went on last week, which may have been the first semi-real date I’ve been on in a while, I’m offering up some advice, based on that experience and a few others. I’m also still talking to the guy, so that means it wasn’t a complete fail.

I recently saw a post on HowAboutWe’s The Date Report featuring this video that portrays the evolution of an entire romantic relationship, and while I was laughing, I realized that there are a few reasons why the relationship didn’t succeed, which may have to do with the very beginning of the relationship. Although many people don’t care about first dates, they’re fairly important, and in today’s world, first impressions certainly matter, although there is no such thing as a first, first impression, since people usually stalk each other via Facebook and other social media sites before actually meeting.

New Girl

Image Source: imgur

Here a few things to keep in mind, so you don’t completely freak out before and during your date:

  1. Don’t over think it. This applies to the actual date and the time spent getting ready for the date. Some of us, myself included, freak out before we even go on dates, and I’ll most likely think very pessimistic and morbid thoughts and expect the worst, and even though this can be beneficial, it’s best to not even think about the date until it happens. Who knows, this could either lead to something longterm and fulfilling, or it could be a sham. But either way, you’re still getting out there, and that’s always a good thing.
  2. Don’t share too much about yourself just yet. Try to maintain some sense of mystery, so then your date stays interested. Yes, this is a bit dishonest, but it’s smart, and it works. No one wants to hear your entire life’s story in one night anyways.
  3. Don’t seem too eager. As elementary as this sounds, play hard to get on a certain level. Don’t ignore your date, but you also don’t want to drool or seem super into him or her when you’re only on your first date!
  4. This may be the most important one, but be yourself.  Although you shouldn’t divulge everything about yourself on date #1, you also shouldn’t hide your personality. Enchant your date with your knowledge of Medieval history, and if you know a lot about cheese, then order some, and tell your date how your grandmother used to feed you cheese when you were little and that eating cheese reminds you of her (this may be my own personal tidbit). Or if you go to a club, get your freak out. Let your weird out (maybe not all of it just yet), but show your date that you’re comfortable in your own skin. Nothing’s sexier than self-confidence.

    Tina Fey

    Image Source: nbcsnl.tumblr.com

Even if the date goes south, at least you got some food or some dancing out of it. And if you two get along, but there’s no romantic connection, being friends wouldn’t hurt, although I know some friends who are against being friends with people that they went on dates with, but who cares? I still talk to people I’ve been on dates with.

As for the date, It could of been way, way worse. Always tell yourself that if your date ended up leaving a sour taste in your mouth (not literally, guys). As you read in my earlier post, your date could’ve been a drug addict, a sociopath, or way worse.

Tina Fey

Image Source: GURL.com

If you’re really in a bind during your date, channel Liz Lemon, and make the best out of a bad situation. Pretend he or she is a sandwich, order a sandwich, and get your grub on. After your date is over, you’ll be so full and satisfied, that you’ll forget about Tony or Doug or whoever that lame-o was!

Let me know in the comments what your tricks are for keeping your cool when you go on first dates!

When Did Sex Become “COOL”?

New Girl

Image Source: changinginthecity.wordpress.com

Today’s topic: SEX and sexual desire. That’s right, kids; this post is going to be raunchy (not really), but it’ll be awkward and undoubtedly honest, but not in a snarky way because I have no idea what I’m saying when I talk about sex. It’s like I’m a vegetarian in a meat market but way worse. Also, all of my GIFs will be New Girl GIFs because New Girl is the best show ever. 

If you really think about it, what else has changed this past decade besides the fact that youngins have having sex at alarming rates? I believe that the younger generation’s change in sexual behavior relates to the pervasive nature of social media. In Paul Sheehan’s “R u ready for the latest change to sexual behaviour?,” he does a great job at pinpointing exactly how sexual roles have changed in the wake of social media and other forms of digital media. In today’s world, sexting has become unstinting, and modern technology has revealed how contagious sexual desire can be, and it’s making it more acceptable to share your sexual thoughts and inhibitions in an almost indirect way. Many of my friends talk about sexting, and it just seems like, EVERYONE DOES IT or at least thinks about doing it.

New Girl

SERIOUSLY THOUGH. Image Source: Photobucket

What’s evermore compelling is that according to Sheehan, “men are [typically] the drivers of sexual desire,” but digital media is showing us that this sexual desire is reciprocal. Women want it too, and this becomes exceedingly more apparent when we look at the younger generation. It’s definitely accurate to state that “women in their 30s are becoming sexual fogeys compared with the next wave of young women.” Social media is ultimately loosening the social constraints on female sexuality so that women have a safe space (i.e. their smart phones) to share their once repressed thoughts. Sex might not actually be “cool,” but it’s much more prevalent than it was a decade ago, and the immense popularity of sexting and sharing one’s sexual desires makes sex seem cool. Even my cousin, who’s younger than me, lost her virginity much earlier than when I did. It’s just much more socially acceptable (or at least more so now) to be sexually active or to freely express one’s sexual desires at a younger age.

In the end, my inability to be cool at sex or talk about sex in a cool way or get on this “Sex is COOL” bandwagon will result in this:

New Girl

Image Source: GURL.com

Now, let’s talk about this. Do you think sex is cool? Do you agree with Sheehan’s findings? Will you closely monitor your kids’ texting habits, so they don’t SEXT?

Open Discussion: What’s Your Worst First Date?

50 First Dates

Image source: MovieBoozer

We’ve all had awkward dates and sketchy first encounters, especially with people we met from online, but there’s always that one first date with that one creep, who makes you never want to dip into the dating pool again.

My bad dating experience, which isn’t as bad as some of the ones you’re about to read from my friends, happened a few years back. I’m going to call him Henry. Henry and I originally met at a party, which now that I think about it, isn’t the best place to find your future somebody. After we talked, we agreed that we should meet up sometime. I was thrilled when he actually asked me on a date. After we went out to eat, he invited me back to his place to relax. Although I had fun on the date, I thought we would be better off as friends, and I assumed the feeling was neutral because of how the date went, but when we got back to his place, I remember seeing A LOT Lady Gaga posters in his room. I mean, do you need a Gaga poster on every wall (and multiple ones at that)? The Lady Gaga obsession wasn’t what really freaked me out though, but when I sat down on his bed, he immediately jumped on me and made this super drunk expression (he wasn’t even drunk–we had nothing to drink), as he was groping me and trying to make out. I immediately jumped up, told him I forgot to meet a friend at the library for a project, and jolted out as fast as I could. I just wasn’t feeling it. I’m not a huge fan of drunk-acting kissers, okay? And he just came on way too strong way too fast. Yeah, this may not be my weirdest sexual encounter by any means, but it’s along the lines of a weird first date.

Don’t worry, there are more totally awkward stories to come! I asked some of my friends about their first dates, and here’s what I got. I also asked Chanel, but she’s surprisingly never been on a bad first date. Some people have ALL the luck.


I met this guy on tinder, and he said he worked in finance, so we met at this restaurant called The Smith in midtown. It was super nice. I see him and immediately think, “I’m not attracted to him; he does not look like his pic” hahaha. Then, we sit down to order, and I’m like so what are you drinking? And he goes, “Oh I don’t drink…” (Now I know this will absolutely not work). I ask why, and he says, “Oh, I’m actually Mormon,” and then, I ask him how long he’s living here for, and he’s like, “Just for the summer. I’m still in college.” I’m like, fucking shoot me. And then, after a long awk meal, he says let’s walk back to the subway by central park, and he proceeds to kiss me, and it was narsty. In the end, I couldn’t, but he was actually a nice kid. We just have different lifestyles.


It was the fourth of July, so we went to a baseball game. Little did I know my mom was also at the game and saw us. Then, I had to introduce him to all of my mom’s friends and deal with all of her questions (she didn’t know i was going on the date). I didn’t even like him, so I didn’t want to introduce him, and he was super eager and said we were dating. Then, he asked to come in when he dropped me off, and I wouldn’t let him, so we said goodnight. He went on to tell my friend’s sister that we had hooked up and were dating, so I had to block him from all media.
So this guy asked me out, and I said okay. I told him I’d meet him at his house so that after dinner I could leave if I wanted to. I was super nervous and got to his place like exactly on time, so I felt stupid. I went and knocked on his door, and no one was answering, and I could hear really loud music, so I figured he couldn’t hear me knock, so I went in. He was like finishing getting ready but acting super weird and jittery, and I thought he was just nervous. He said he had a sushi place to go to, but when we got there, there was a really long wait, so he was like “No no no let’s go somewhere else..” He had obviously made no reservation or anything, so we went to another sushi place, and it was kind of a hole in the wall..nothing special at all. After we ordered, he hardly ate and was super intense and jittery. After we ate, he invited me to go out for drinks with his friends because it was one of their birthdays. I ended up drinking too much and fell asleep in the back of his car. I later realized he was a cokehead, and that’s why he was acting the way he was, like he went to the bar and drank while I was passed out in his car. Yeah…

After hearing all of my friends’ stories, I just have to hear all of yours! Feel free to be semi-vague or use fake names because all of my friends did! Some of us, not Chanel and I, don’t want all of our dirty laundry hanging outside for everyone to sniff (this is a horrible metaphor). Feel free to hit me up on Twitter and follow my date-related musings.

5 Perks of Singlehood

Keep Calm and Stay Single

Image Source: The Keep Calm-o-matic

In today’s world of teen pregnancy, couples are seriously everywhere. I don’t think I noticed in college how populous couples were, but in New York, it’s really hard to look away when couples are French kissing on the subway or when couples are groping each other on club dance floors. Just yesterday, I gawked at this interracial gay couple for ten minutes as I walked up 5th Avenue. They were holding hands, pecking each other on the face, and doing other cutesy couple things that make you want to say “Awwww!”

In all honesty, I’ve never really been in a real relationship. I can’t ever remember changing my Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship,” but my friends and I did often joke around and listed each other as fake spouses. (Yeah, we were those kids)

Liz Lemon

This is definitely me every night. Image Source: http://gifsfln.tumblr.com/

But instead of drowning myself in fudge ice cream and cheesing out, I try to not be entirely self-loathing. I mean, there definitely are perks associated with being single. Yeah, it’s taking me a little while to think of some, but they exist!

Here are my own five reasons for why being single is oh so cool:

  1. You don’t have to please anyone. You can nerd out and be that little weird fat kid you’ve always wanted to be. Diets? No way. Well, diet and exercise if YOU want to do so for YOURSELF only. If I was dating someone, I might be a little weary to tell them how much I love cheese and Miley Cyrus, but I don’t, so I get to soak in my own weirdness 24/7.
  2. You can people watch and have 10 second crushes ALL THE TIME without feeling guilty. Some of my friends, who are in committed relationships, feel guilty for looking at people or for having sexually perverse thoughts, but this fear and sense of guilt doesn’t exist in the world of singledom (I’m seriously making these words up, I know)!
  3. Your schedule is pretty much OPEN all the time, unless you’re a workaholic like myself. Dinner plans on Thursday? No, those don’t exist. You can hangout WHENEVER and with WHOEVER you want. This freedom is only granted to single bodies y’all.
  4. ME TIME does indeed exist. Sometimes, it’s nice to just relax and not be with someone (even friends) all the time. This little bit of personal quality time definitely helps me regain my day’s worth of lost sanity.
  5. This goes off of #4, but you have ample time to work on yourself and to pursue your own personal interests, including but not limited to your career and/or hobbies. When you’re with someone, you often find yourself sacrificing your own wants and needs for the betterment of your relationship, and this just sucks. You need to work on you before you can work on anything else, especially a relationship.
Adventure Time

Don’t let this be you! Image Source: Rebloggy

Just remember: Don’t let the pressure to be in relationship affect you. Who cares if you’re single? Enjoy the time you have to yourself and let it be a means to work on yourself and to achieve some of your own goals. It’s important to have a sense of independence and self-worth before ever committing in a longterm relationship. This is my opinion, so feel free to revolt (in the comments below)!

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter for more weird tidbits and and unheard of love advice. Another interesting read is Thought Catalog’s “Ten Reasons Why Being In A Relationship Sucks,” which also reiterates some of my points but in a different context.