First dates can be intimidating, especially when you can’t even remember the last time you put yourself out there. In celebration of the date I went on last week, which may have been the first semi-real date I’ve been on in a while, I’m offering up some advice, based on that experience and a few others. I’m also still talking to the guy, so that means it wasn’t a complete fail.
I recently saw a post on HowAboutWe’s The Date Report featuring this video that portrays the evolution of an entire romantic relationship, and while I was laughing, I realized that there are a few reasons why the relationship didn’t succeed, which may have to do with the very beginning of the relationship. Although many people don’t care about first dates, they’re fairly important, and in today’s world, first impressions certainly matter, although there is no such thing as a first, first impression, since people usually stalk each other via Facebook and other social media sites before actually meeting.
Here a few things to keep in mind, so you don’t completely freak out before and during your date:
- Don’t over think it. This applies to the actual date and the time spent getting ready for the date. Some of us, myself included, freak out before we even go on dates, and I’ll most likely think very pessimistic and morbid thoughts and expect the worst, and even though this can be beneficial, it’s best to not even think about the date until it happens. Who knows, this could either lead to something longterm and fulfilling, or it could be a sham. But either way, you’re still getting out there, and that’s always a good thing.
- Don’t share too much about yourself just yet. Try to maintain some sense of mystery, so then your date stays interested. Yes, this is a bit dishonest, but it’s smart, and it works. No one wants to hear your entire life’s story in one night anyways.
- Don’t seem too eager. As elementary as this sounds, play hard to get on a certain level. Don’t ignore your date, but you also don’t want to drool or seem super into him or her when you’re only on your first date!
- This may be the most important one, but be yourself. Although you shouldn’t divulge everything about yourself on date #1, you also shouldn’t hide your personality. Enchant your date with your knowledge of Medieval history, and if you know a lot about cheese, then order some, and tell your date how your grandmother used to feed you cheese when you were little and that eating cheese reminds you of her (this may be my own personal tidbit). Or if you go to a club, get your freak out. Let your weird out (maybe not all of it just yet), but show your date that you’re comfortable in your own skin. Nothing’s sexier than self-confidence.
Even if the date goes south, at least you got some food or some dancing out of it. And if you two get along, but there’s no romantic connection, being friends wouldn’t hurt, although I know some friends who are against being friends with people that they went on dates with, but who cares? I still talk to people I’ve been on dates with.
As for the date, It could of been way, way worse. Always tell yourself that if your date ended up leaving a sour taste in your mouth (not literally, guys). As you read in my earlier post, your date could’ve been a drug addict, a sociopath, or way worse.
If you’re really in a bind during your date, channel Liz Lemon, and make the best out of a bad situation. Pretend he or she is a sandwich, order a sandwich, and get your grub on. After your date is over, you’ll be so full and satisfied, that you’ll forget about Tony or Doug or whoever that lame-o was!
Let me know in the comments what your tricks are for keeping your cool when you go on first dates!